My Red PocketbookOr my walking journal (my thoughts while on a journey).
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The Red Pocketbook is a portrayal of a life experience that is being enfaced with his dream/passion, and he has discovered the true inspirations and means by which to express himself throughout this lively experience within world so interconnected. With these experiences he has learned on his journey to become a writer. He discovers the way to express them, and to be able to put it into a perspective that others are able to understand and learn from. A mind of that filled with an understanding that is so to say, "To Be Continued."
May think ink and typewriter stain your paper to create a form of art, of that which takes knowledge of that language and metaphors of experiences within the emotion of the storyteller and the reader. |
My novel I'm working on, that when finished will become a novel that I plan to get published, and become my first published novel.
The journey of ThoughtTues. Oct. 7, 2014
On this road to discovery, I find much love and misery. And yet it has so many simplicities. One of many that few understand, how we gain knowledge and understandings though this pain. We follow our inner path, and hope to catch our dreams. Not a book, or a page, can ever change your age no matter the range of your imagination. You may have a gaze on the olden days but your past blindness has lead you to discover kindness. A quality much better than mental blindness. This poem is a moment that I found a way to speak, one that I plan to keep. It's special and unique, from a man sometimes bleak, he found a candle light in the middle of the snowfall. It was only after that, that he saw the peak, that which he could be. A chance to be free and to see a kind, honest world. One that remains open-minded and can accept the truth even when that are wrong. A chase for a change in pace, is meaningless when you have to change your pace to keep up on this chase. It's as though we see our world as one face, one face stuck in a mirror of the same race. We don't need to chase this impossible phrase, the meaning of life. It's different for everyone, but is set with the same guidelines, be you, be true, and be as kind as possible, its about the different perspectives that one must understand before they chose to take a stand. By: Edward Gaus Mon. Oct. 27, 2014
Synchronicity is key. Spirituality is free. I love who I've become. By: Edward Gaus |
The Red Pocketbook Chapter One: "Believe"
Tuesday, October 7th, 2014
A young man, begins work once again at his lousy fast-food job, still dreaming about becoming a writer, and that makes him feel brighter. This very feeling gives him the inspiration to be himself, to be honest, nice/kind, and more open about who he was. His first shift is about to begin. He steps into the car from his home, which was about a scenic 20 minute drive from his workplace, and he starts to worry, having only ever worked at one other job for about a year, and being nervous starting there also. He became overwhelmed, much like when he first experienced a panic attack while co-oping at the local newspaper when he was interviewing someone alone. He started to think. While driving and listening to the radio was enough time, his mind got somewhere, but he was still nervous about meeting new people, learning something new, and the mistakes, and the impressions people would get from you. He struggled at first, but now after a two-and-a-half weeks, he feels confident in his ability as a worker at this fast food restaurant. His days usually go smoothly with a little mix up sometimes when you have to wait on things to cook for a certain time. Its as if you face limitations that cause issues were you are blamed for if you prepare ahead with possible waste, or have too little and have it end up a race. Oh these days how they seem to torment. However, it may be bad sometimes, but there is a lot more of the good days when you get to work with great co-workers, those that share the work load you both currently task, and one who knows how to make it fun, with light-hearted comedy, and interesting opinions, understandings and discoveries are also fun conversations that I notice people enjoy. Then after a good day of work, I come home to find I have a day-and-a-half off. Now excited about a day off, I decide that I'm going to stay up late then wake up later tomorrow. In this time I watch interesting; spiritual; cartoon animated movies by Disney, Pixar, Nickelodeon, or Funimation, either that or I watch some mysterious or mythical television show, and inspiring movies that follow some related character development based from one of my many interests. With his constant new flowing perspectives and understandings this young man finds himself at a crossroads. One that has him slowly following his dreams, while also keeping up on his spiritual trainings to be at his best mentally. While randomly messaging his two close friends that he finally decided were worth more than a short friendship. Even though he said some good things, he still messed up and said some stuff he maybe shouldn't have, and right when he was starting to feel like he was able to reciprocate the true values of a friend. To be there for them in their darkest times, just as they were when I was in my dark times, within the years before this most recent fast-food job. In the moments around two of the most empowering and remarkable messages were sent to my friends from myself, I wrote two amazing poems that I was entering into a writing contest, where I was hoping most to win the prize of about $1,000 and the publication of your winning entry. It was a big hope, granted that I was only entering two poems, out of all the people in the world that could've entered they could win too. But I accepted that, and I did so because I didn't care if I won, obviously I wanted to, but I mean the poems that I wrote that were entered into the contest, I put my heart into it and I put the best me there could ever be into the emotion of the poems and what they were becoming. Also upon their completion, I found myself filled with joy as I read them. Filling my soul with a touching magical feeling that is felt from the combination of words I wrote. I was surprised that I was able to find this deep understanding and creative emotion that I only once before experienced, when an endeavour to acquire a girlfriend failed, creating a chance for me to understand, to learn to forgive and to achieve it, and then to write it down into a short story. I opened up the experience and understanding to that person who caused it, but also expressing that I give no blame or fault to them, I simply express my thanks for the experience, and the chance to brighten her day for once, when I gave her the poem as my romantic endeavour, that in long term failed, mostly because I have poor communication skills/experience. It's a lot to accept and to understand, but it's the creative point in our lives were we are most open to the extraordinary in your time of depression like feelings, and tough situations, this is the moment when you fall. You let down your beliefs and open your mind for a creative and unique perspective of the situation, separating your judgement of yourself in your ability to be wrong or to even be able to learn the right answer if they were wrong before. A book of dreams so to say, is what became of this expressed moment in communication with readers experiencing a grasp of a new understanding that is from the perspective of the context within the book. Monday, October 27th, 2014
It seemed as though this young man, while on his journey, had started a new chapter. He appreciates the last three years of high school the most. And I don't mean grade ten, eleven, and twelve. I mean grade eleven, grade twelve, and the extra year I was in high school. What I have learned from those three years, has helped me connect deeply within myself. I learned so much. It started in grade eleven when I got depressed and the only friend I had happened to be a girl my age with almost all the same interests, whom I happened to meet online. She got me interested in poetry, she persuaded me to follow my dreams and to be courageous. Without her as my friend I never would've become interested in writing, or begun to write this very passage. It's a miracle that all the parts of my life came together to create a way of life that can be built even stronger by looking at the path you took, and discovering that you have gained a perspective that you can use to create. It will join with your passion and give you an ability that you might have been waiting for. And now it's your turn to make something inspiring from that. The next moment comes bearing only experiences that you could set into motion. This young man chose to fail his grade eleven english class, even while learning and understanding all that it had to offer. Including the amazing teacher Mrs. Carter, who knew what I was going through, and my mother at the time knew all about me failing this class by my own decision, and Mrs. Carter knew my Mom knew, so she never called home when I missed an assignment. The next year I had both grade eleven english and grade twelve english in my schedule. They gave me grade 12 english first semester and grade eleven english was second semester. At the start of grade twelve english I had already changed so much, because in the summer I discovered spirituality, and began to open my eyes. I had a mind that was able to understand. Now my friend wasn't allowed to be in a grade twelve university english until he passed grade eleven english (even though he had already passed grade twelve college english), so they made him take grade eleven university english first semester, and grade twelve university english second semester, when they were originally in the opposite semesters. I was confused about how he was being forced to do it properly, while I was given the opportunity to try it differently. The friends i made in that class blew me away. This one person I friended was one of those semi-trouble makers, in other words the cool, funny, and clever personality. I also friended someone who I could say was kind of in the same reality as I was, but he still had very different interests. Anyways The outgoing friend was joking about the weather and then I mentioned somehow that it was going to rain thursday. Let me just say, it rained, and both of my friends were baffled. So they asked me for anymore predictions and joked about it a lot. In another class I was talking to a different friend about this and I made another prediction that monday would be sunny with a high of 25^C. Come monday morning I was driving in to school at six in the morning, listening to the local radio station. When suddenly the weather came on and said today it was to be sunny with a high of 25^C, and I geeked out. When I got to class that day I told the two friends from english class and they were amazed. They were asking about the first snowfall, and I said I don't know if it'll be the first, but I think it will snow on November seventh. Weeks later, november seventh came up, and it snowed a little, we were all very open-minded after experiencing that crazy coincidences. Whats even more amazing, is that that wasn't the only magical experience that that class had to offer. Not to far into the semester and a question came up about an essay by Stephen King titled 'Why we crave horror movies', the question was 'What is the thesis of the essay?' I had an answer, and no one else put up their hand, so I asked my friend, who was sitting beside me, what he thought about my answer and if it was good enough for me to put up my hand. He convinced me to give the answer. The thesis of the essay was Stephen King thinks that we're all mentally ill, and that we watch horror movies so we don't go crazy. My teacher was surprised and said that was exactly what Stephen King was trying to say. From that day on she saw that I had great potential, and she was going to help further that and help me strive for it. She helped me on the path to discovering my life and how I wished to put that experience to use. My life changed from the first day we began to read the book 'Into The Wild'. I talked about Chris McCandless, a man who had a romantic personality, and how he was willing to leave everything that was troubling him behind, he travelled America for a while and explored a beautiful way of life. He met so many kind people, and he gave the best of himself to everyone he met along the way. His journey ended in Alaska with a bus that was designed for hikers and hunters out in the middle of a forest, not too far from a little river. I learned so much from reading that book, and it helped me better who I am. One day in english class we had a test about chapters six to ten of the book. I was learning about angels and archangels as I was getting more involved with spirituality. I asked Archangel Uriel to give me the divine knowledge I need, since I had no clue what to write. I also said that if I failed the test I would go full on into spirituality. Nothing. So I went to hand in the test with the most important question incomplete because I didn't have a clue what to write. The teacher saw this and said, "Really, no, go back and write something." So I took the test paper back and thought about the question, and was like "I don't know what to write." I believe I even thought in my head and asked Uriel to help, I think I said, "All right, I can't leave it blank, she won't let me, please help me and I still promise to get more involved with spirituality." Then whoosh, the knowledge just started to flow like an open river, even my leg was bouncing with excitement as I tried my best to write as fast as I could to keep up with the insightful answer that was erupting in my brain. I got the mark back and the overall test mark was a four, and the question that Archangel Uriel helped me with got a four plus, which was all of Part B of the test which was marked for thinking and communication. Her response, which she actually wrote on the test, was "I can't believe you were going to leave this blank," with a smiley face that had two exclamation marks for eyes at the end of the note she left. I then said to myself, I'm still going to be spiritual no doubt. This just proved to me that these angels exist, and that the divine can communicate these messages to us in any way. I have no doubt in my mind at all, that they are real and help us in our time of need in this world. I only hope that I can be given/gain more help from these divine beings. I also learned that from that I learned how it feels when someone helps you, and how I only hope I can be as helpful as the angles were and that I could help others share in the joy and gratitude I feel. What is even more amazing, is that this entire out-of-this-world experience happened on November seventh, The day that weeks before I had linked to a prediction about snowfall. Also was meant as a prediction for something beautiful and magical. I would describe a snowfall as bliss, but my favourite type of snowfall would have to be when there is no wind, and the gravity just takes the snow on its journey. That moment when you can focus on a single snowflake and watch it gently fall to Earth. * * * * *
________, ________ __th, 2014
....To Be Continued.....
By: Edward Gaus
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